;

2011-12-29T09:12:00.001-08:00

nov 7?!?! what have I been doing!! Haha okay talkign to myself here. I miss you badly sometimes, but.

1. Get over it. Spend your time thinking about better things, about things that matter more, you nincompoop! Stop being so self-absorbed. Can be more like Winnie or not??
2. Do what you say, follow up on what you started.
3. Be brave enough to accept your flaws and accept criticism and learn how to respond to all these and change for the better.
4. Be brave enough to be yourself.

yupyup that's it for now

2011-11-07T05:11:00.000-08:00

He rolled up his jacket sleeve, revealing his bare arm. It was paler than his hand but still brown. Luzia stared at its soft underside, at the shadows of its roping veins in the firelight. Antônio smiled.
"Take it," he said. "It's yours."
"You think I want that tough meat?"
"No," he replied, his smile gone. He continued to hold out his arm. "But if you did, I'd let you take as many bites as you needed. I'd let you eat me alive."
"I don't like that kind of talk," Luzia said. When they were newly married, she'd told him the story of the Cannibal Wife. Now, with a drought coming, the story wasn't amusing.
"It's the only kind of talk I know," Antônio replied, his voice low.

Luzia stared at his arm. Of she brought it to her mouth, he would not flinch. He would not cry out. He would give. He would let her consume him, bit by bit, if that was what she needed.

The Seamstress, Frances De Pontes Peebles

I think I remember, when I told you this you said if I ate you you'd always be a part of me, hahaha x

2011-10-28T09:38:00.001-07:00

I need to get my act together.

Lead camp made me feel really overwhelmed about this whole being a leader thing I realised that I should start thinking more about the big picture and about what exactly I can give to my team-- I think it's different for us but either way, I want to be able to get that feeling of wanting to give something to the team and do something to improve the team in a way that I can, rather than just being caught up in myself and random other things that still matter, but cause me to ignore the big picture. Okay I don't make any sense. Anyway I just need to start being more of a proper leader and thinking of the team's welfare and shiz and how we're progressing and doing more stuff rather than just focusing on individual performance and feeling like shit about how much I suck hahaha.

Okay. Things will work out.

Also, I need to move the hell on omg. And stop wallowing in such weird thoughts ugh idk what's wrong with me okay goodnight going to toa payoh tomorrow to collect newspapersssss.

I think part of the reason I joined OSL was because I was so sick of the person I became and am now I'm just waiting for that change, hahaha. So I can actually spend my time thinking about things that matter. Okay bye.

2011-10-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

I want you to sit by yourself in your room. This is the moment you
are wallowing, this is the moment you want to listen to sappy music and
curl yourself up in a ball and feel all lonely. There are moments when
you feel self-pitying, there are moments when you wonder how you are so
young and so pissed off at everything. People piss you off. People
cuddling on subways piss you off more. Instead of listening to music on
your I-Pod and thinking about the time somebody kissed your forehead, I
want you to look at the things you have collected over the years. There
are the terrible pictures you have taken of yourself in college- the one
where you were at a bar with your best friends and you make the ‘holy
shit what am I doing here’ face, or on the beach where you are laughing
so hard because somebody just threw sand at your crotch. The necklace
you got from your grandmother is here and so are the flip flops you’ve
had since seventh grade because your mom bought them for you. I want you
to pick up the postcards you got and your favorite book that is creased
by the sides. You have read this book so much you can finish the lines
by yourself and you probably love it. Then I want you to pick up your
phone and look at your text messages. The one from your roommate that
asks where you are, or maybe the drunk ones late at night from all the
people you couldn’t be with at the moment. Oh, look! Your favorite high
school bud who tells you they miss you! I want you to pick at least five
people from your phone that you can call because you are feeling bad.
Don’t call them, just know you can.

I want you to look at yourself in the mirror. There is a scar on your
chin from the time you did something really fucking stupid with some
really fucking great people. There is the face that you have grown from a
little shitting baby to the person you are now. I want you to make the
lamest face you can in the mirror, I want you to remember all the things
you like about yourself. I want you to laugh at it. I want you to stick
your butt out at the mirror and smile.

Then you put on a song that reminds you of summer, or of driving in a
car. Then you put on the song that you remember listening to when
somebody was in love with you. I want you to think of the best memories
you have had, and simply appreciate how you have had them. How you have
felt something so big for somebody it made you nauseous and when they
left, the best people in the world listened to you when you cried about
it. You would feel that again, you think. You just might, you
think. Refuse love being the end-it-all of your life. It happens and it
doesn’t, and it usually happens again (which is what is so great about
it.) Then I want you to cough or scream or raise your arms and simply
remember how you are not alone. How you are here and you are here and
that is where you are. And then I want you to think of the worst
moments, the ones that made you feel shell-like and how you got over
them. How you have the ability to get over shit because you are a person
and people go through bad things and you are still pretty okay. How you
can still laugh and give high fives and go to bars and not get how
people function the way they do.

Then you realize how many more days you will feel alone. And how you
sometimes crave figuring yourself out more than other things. And how
many times going out or meeting certain people will make you feel like
you don’t understand humans or how much you love them. Then you remember
all your friends, and how much you will laugh at all the douchebags you
have dated, and all the mistakes you have made, and how one of these
things will always outweigh the others. I want you to allow yourself the
biggest kind of optimism you can muster for the future moments of your
tiny life. And I want you to sit by yourself and I want you to enjoy it. Pick your nails. Eat a slab of cheese. Savor it.

Then I want you to not feel so alone. You are not.

Close. Censored some of it hahaha

Whatever is going on, you will only find peace through Him. Spend a lot of time in honest prayer. Tell Him your struggles. Bring Him your feelings of envy and jealousy. And then ask Him, over and over, to help you to trust in His plan for you.

2011-09-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

made me s t h g a b m.

damn lol, think i'm seeing too much of you.

2011-09-04T10:35:00.000-07:00

When i read the stuff you guys say right, I love y'all all over again haha seriously, idk how I can be such a horrible person and have such bad thoughts sometimes. Lol k sometimes I just wish you guys could understand! Oh well

2011-09-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

SO MUCH REGRET I MISS BALLET I NEED A PEP TALK NOW.

Wahlao feeling like all my decisions now were wrongwrongwrong.

Omg diez

2011-08-27T03:31:00.000-07:00

Getting satisfaction out of catching fish in fish hunter TROLOLOL whut is lyfe.

If you'd been here still I wonder if I'd have told you!

Lol anyway you know how sometimes things just suck. super angsty day today, wanted to go shopping but in the end I woke up late + was too lazy + couldn't get money aiya idk it's just my mum's mindset. Frigging annoying. Yesterday I was thinking of all the stuff I'd say and I think in my head I imagined she'd be more... yah wtv la

Wahlao sometimes I think I'm super annoying. And I get jealous damn easily OMG I'd find myself annoying too. Zz can't download surviving high school on the ipad >:( Annoyed.

Feel damn bad for feeling this way but it's just all so shdfishofshdiofhsofsfd God show me the way

I am such a horrible person seriously omg compare their reactions to mine shit what is wrong with me hate feeling like this :( Ykr, maybe it's cause i'm such a horrible person -_-

2011-08-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

Twitter getting super overcrowded nowadays... I love you guys and all but I'm just not comfortable with some of you reading my tweets :/

Anw, Lit sem!! :) Was good, and sleepover at ang's house was really nice :) I think our class is just very bullshitty in general LOL we love talking nonsense too much~ Anw performance was good! So proud of RAlit ♥ But was quite pissed off at all the male bitches tsk even worse than girls -_- Not gonna go into that but wtv bitchez.

Met people I hadn't seen in ages... Was weird. Also I did something really really dumb :( Boo.

Anw yup first project as RAlit, love you guys x :)

Zz you know I'm forever procrastinating. Could've finished all this shit in like 2h. Damn :/ I suck la ugh. Anyway while we're rotting away in school, lauren is off at Latvia slacking her ass off. Fol :(

Hm. LSL after a really long while, the kids remember me still! ♥ :) So heartwarming but it makes me feel guilty when I don't remember some of their names, so I had to like sneakily look at their books and stuff HAHA. Jovan is so cute and so nice omg, he's one of the few who does his work and says sorry when I act all angry when he does something he shouldn't hehe ♥ Sucha nice boy omg :) But yep all of them are, really. Ahhh I think I'm going back on tuesday, I forgot :O

Sometimes right it feels like I'm losing myself amidst everything zz like I'm slightly different with different people and I always wish I'm more of something, depending on who I happen to be with? Do I even make sense omg.

Seeing you that day was... odd, really.

2011-08-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

"You don't give up just because things are hard." - Gossip Girl

Lovelovelove i need to catch up with it one day :( Also, #notetoself. I gained soooo much weight because I haven't been jumping for more than 2 weeks okay, hoped that my ankle would heal by itself but it obviously didn't it still hurts :( So going to the TCM (??) on wed! It better become healed or I'll chop off my stupid ankle grr. Haha I think our entire team now is super strong. Just a few who're like not as good. (Myself included. Fml ahahaha) That's why it gets so demoralising sometimes!! Oh, well.

Baking with batch today was fun!! :) FF NOW THOUGH.

2011-08-04T07:04:00.000-07:00

Today's training was soooo demoralising LOL was thinking about it while bathing and it was so so so bad I completely wanted to give up halfway, lol. It was when we started to do la tui la (obviously) then I was like FML i can't do shit and I was all tired and achey from ya tui :( Sigh. Actually idk what happened today LOL it's like every training la please. Just that today's was really, really bad because I felt so shfoisdhfosd. And yeah everyone's improving so much and I'm just freaking stagnant. Like I couldn't do anything lol (partly cause of ankle too) and it's always been like this but I've always just been trying but nowadays it seems so bloody hopeless.

Idk if it's jolene I mean I'm grateful that she's pushing us like this and forcing us to improve because we have to, and just because our competition routine doesn't require us to do certain stuff doesn't mean we should be stuck at the same standard forever. All this makes me proud but so tired sometimes I'm not good at anything in gym anymore -.- Okay not that I really was la but really it's just how fast everyone's improving and I'm just so damn annoyed at my body for not cooperating. Sometimes I think she doesn't get that, it's just freaking stuck omg I can't move okay. Fml lol today was one of the first time(s?) I felt like not competing and just giving up.

I'm not a quitter but it's just becoming freaking hard. Kinda prayed during training today, God give me strength.

2011-08-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

Supposed to be doing chinese PT now but whatever la lol, thank God for my 3h nap and coffee. Okay all the same I should just chionggg and focus and stop procrastinating and thinking I have a lot of time (erm, one night) but okay just had to say that today made me feel very Judged it kind of shocked me when I was told about ___ I mean, you can't judge someone for not wanting to take up that kind of responsibility, right? Okay I just felt hugely annoyed because they didn't even get the full picture I didn't volunteer for (something) I didn't even know what volunteering would entail so at least I pulled out right from the start and got someone else much more better suited to take my place. Lame.

Anyway twitter's becoming very overcrowded nowadays hahahaha #justsayin, I feel like I can't say a lot of stuff there now and it used to be my ranting place LOL cause I was too lazy to blog.

K anyway chineseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I CAN DO THIS I WILL FINISH THIS SUPER FAST BECAUSE I STILL NEED TO FREAKING MEMORISE OMG GOGOGO

EUNICEYAU

Idk how to put this lul like no common shared experience at the moment we haven't even had a proper conversation not even about random stuff so I feel like :/

2011-07-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm still thinking bout it because we never said goodbye; never talked about it, and all I really wanted to know was why it happened (did you just suddenly stop caring? decided to move on?)

but I'll never really know, yup.

2011-06-20T09:40:00.000-07:00

OH YA OMG!! BEFORE I FORGET!!! I LOVE ALFIE ♥ HE'S MY NEW CRUSH!!! OMG HE'S SO MEGA CUTE I LOVE HIM TTM ((: those hugeeee eyes omg and his hands are SO SMALL when he high-fives me it's so cute!!!! :D And he's such a nice boy! Omg ♥♥♥♥♥

K ULTIMATE PATHETIC love life nonexistent so I'm crushing a p1 HAHAHA omg but the kids are really really cute and alfie is so nice and guai and cute! ultimate love omg :D HAHAHA HIS BRO, HOWEVER, IS NOT CUTE. OMG @weiling and idk who else HAHA OKAY BYE!! just had to record this in case i forgot his name :D

2011-06-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

omg read weiling's blog HAHAHA darliegotsensitiveteeth omg damn funny!! If next time I tell you my blog then you'll be reading this hehehe so hi :D

Anw LSL has been doing me good! :) 3rd session I'm starting to see how the kids, especially some of the boys, are such nice kids at heart! :) It's so heartwarming and idrk how I'm gaining from it, it's not exactly something I can put into words like them being so happy when they play- it's not that, but it's just something else. Sometimes I think I'm getting over my head when I see some of the kids struggling and I feel like teaching them everything they need to know, right from the start, esp when I see that their foundation doesn't seem to be that strong! But yeah okay I CAN'T cause idk how to explain stuff either hehe :P Sometimes it makes me feel so blessed to have well, such 'brains', NO MATTER HOW EGO IT SOUNDS, as compared to some other kids.

Okay lazy to expound further on this hehehe but LSL has been good. Satisfying in a weird way! :) Though it takes up my entire day omg cause I wake up late and then lame around then go for LSL then come home and slack. Then sleep. Gosh.

Wth I'm such a pig. Okay omg for some weird reason this calmed me down a bit! Like before this I was in full panic mode omg, last week on June 11 I posted that I was starting to feel the stress, and now it's effing 10 days after and I STILL HAVEN'T DONE SHIT. Seriously idk what is WRONG with me sometimes.

Ugh. Also Evonne talked to me just now and I realised I've never actually felt super close to God. No matter what I feel. Confession: The other day some stupid woman came up to me to do some survey, some christian related thing, and I was totally embarrassed because I ticked that I was a Christian but I wasn't sure about some of the answers to some of the questions. You know like I felt like it was a test of whether I was a good or bad Christian and the woman standing and waiting for me to finish the survey totally made me feel Judged and I was pretty sure I got some of it wrong! Okay it's not a nice feeling, and I shouldn't even feel this way, cause people can't judge you for your religion.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh omggggggg. So much idk how to put into words and it's so hard to explain, prolly gonna get shot for this but I have no idea why my dad isn't comfortable with tongues and truthfully it makes me a little uncomfortable too, idk I think it's because the last church I went to was all serious and all, and now all the charismatic churches are so different from what I've known! But you know, it's like all part of christianity now so idkk :O Now it's like almost everyone I know belongs to a charismatic church! Makes taking that step a bit harder I guess! Omgosh this is so terribly confusing.

OKAY I DON'T MAKE SENSE. BYE.

2011-06-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

Hoping that that's what happened. Haha not knowing sucks!!

Staying strong either way :)

(not really)

2011-06-11T07:13:00.000-07:00

sigh dies this is like some abandoned untouched landdd.

Wish I made more out of my holidays :( Now that it's half gone I feel this huge growing pressure to finish everything I planned for my holidays- work, spend time with the people I haven't seen in ages, catch up on reading, SHOP, watch my shows 8D CATCH UP ON SLEEP. Basically prepare myself for the subsequent semester to come. But I think trying to complete my lofty to do list has been stressing me out :( I know, sounds ridiculous. I haven't even gone shopping this entire holiday! :( Wish I went to Malaysia for a day :( Gosh but OSL camp was good :)

Okay this holidays I've just kind of been too tired to do anything! Now I'm at the horrible stage where I feel too guilty to slack and too tired anyway and I just end up stoning around and stalking people and reading random stuff, watching random stuff, and basically just wasting a lot of time and then not really getting anything out of my time :( I need to do something abotu the rest of my holidays ASAP ohmygosh this is terrible :( :(

2011-04-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

It's so scary how people change (myself included) and you don't realise and when you do you're caught off guard and suddenly everything's so different and you just wonder, when did this happen?

Realised I did that too! Well it's life.

2011-04-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

damn late but DOUBLE CHAMPS ♥
I think the win for me wasn't as satisfactory, no matter how amazing it was, cause I screwed up my first pao and after the routine i was like SHIT cause I know that there were mistakes I made I could've prevented! Ugh! But some stuff were better, like kua tiao, though I didn't jie the hoop with the jump omfrick ughhhhh all my stupid mistakes. ): Plus the other schools screwing up o:

HAHA okay stop thinking bout what I can't change and just be happy with the FIRST <3 Dajiti '11 so freaking proud of you guys no one ever expected us to get it! :) Damn expected but comp was a wonderful wonderful day ♥ plus it was someone's birthdayyyyyy and they had a small celebration thing :) And the super nice pizza hut waiter ♥

AND BEST OF ALL WE HAD JOLENE AS OUR COACH she's damn freaking amazing and she totally turned djt around (:

Okay hahaha think I'm kinda off blogging, just too frigging tired and all gosh no mood kay I need to do math

2011-03-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

Omg blog is totally dead twitter's like my new blog for ranting about everything. And when my body feels screwed up and painful too haha argh it's really bad today ):

8 more days please God help us and give us strength ♥

No school tomorrow but so busy anyway ): And then even though I know I'm busy i just rot in front of the computer. Stupid la don't see how people can keep working. EVEN if you really like the subject. It's mad. K and the thing is, I don't particularly love any subject now -.- Lit is stressfulxzxz sometimes cause I'm so bad at it :(

Ok sleeping at 12!!

2011-03-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

twitter is like my new instant blog HAHA so yeah sorry bout stuff so overwhelmed by everything

feeling v v v v wimpy and sdfsfsd someone please tell me WHAT AM I GOOD AT OMG I realised i have no freaking talent?! life sucks ballz :(

2011-03-18T01:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna waste these words (about a girl) :)

Finally a break!! Got woken up moved to my mum's room cause the starhub (shit man I typed starbucks HAHA) guy came then woke up i forgot when, ate and then WENT BACK TO SLEEP till 4 omfg /dies. Was supposed to go movie my parents were asking if I've anything on but I didn't wanna go out the entire day so I was like nrhsdfhdohfsod (in my half asleep state) so yeah we ended up not going! But I think we're going out for dinner.

Haha omg I feel like going out with friends. A bit lazy to even go out cause my body aches like mad!!! Like seriously argh ): Back esp- at the waist and shoulder blades there omg dshfiods k should do the exercises miki taught me

haha yesterday after training the quiet (annoying) coach said djt was the most "bei1 ju4" hahaha

2011-03-16T20:59:00.001-07:00

haha oh dear me shouldn't be feeling this way at all

2011-03-16T20:56:00.001-07:00

HOLIDAYS. Have been nonexistent. But yesterday at chat (that place on the top floor of scape) was fun! :) Regretting not doing anything but omfg saw really cool bboys haha damn cool :)

Overslept todayyy car and mazie asked me to join them for lunch cause the smartasses have no money for lunch but nah. Trainingggg later. Ombf hope it won't be like Monday's.

2011-03-10T06:37:00.001-08:00

it's so hard to just go 'idgaf' haha tonight's such a bad night i'm gonna sleep at 1037 noww cause there's nothing else worth staying up for. :( Gosh LJ week was quite... and today was so mega fricking tiring haw par villa turned out to be x89326498324532 more boring than I thought it'd be and I have lit tomorrow arghushdf dsofhos missing training shitballz ): ): ): ): ): maybe i'll run.

2011-03-07T10:10:00.000-08:00

I will attempt to blog tomorrow!!! Omg how long have I not been here fore haha, so much has happened.

Omg okay mathhhhh.

2011-02-22T07:48:00.000-08:00

I need to be a part of something bigger than myself.
I need to stop freaking wasting time during training, can't be like today during our "extra training" which was really stupid. Yesterday was being sick of not ever being good enough when it really counts and all but I told myself, if I didn't put in 100% effort then I had -have- no right to feel that way. Like wth it's your own fault you didn't put in 100% effort.

Omg school is scary keep hearing scary stories.

2011-02-21T07:38:00.001-08:00

Today was a bad bad day.

Ruthless raging bull -.- walking out of our class was just wtf -.- Whatever la lol pmsy.

Training was dsfioshiofhodsfs. Damn tired of like everything but trying to tell myself not to be a wimp.

I don't see the point of extra training if all we get is 1h of practise at the freaking KS chee. The ceiling's so low we can't even do throws there. Wth -.- I want extra prac lah ugh I Need it.

2011-02-17T07:28:00.003-08:00

Today was baddd ):

But anyway- If you ever feel like letting go, think of why you held on for so long in the first place. (:

2011-02-16T05:53:00.001-08:00

C'mon eunice you can do this :)

Things may seem really hard right now and it's like shdfishoifsiof f lah i wanna die BUT things'll work out just put in 110% stay focused and know that you tried your best :) AND please don't be just talk KEEP ON GOING!!

School's like shit now just now during history I suddenly got damn stressed cause mr vanan told us that hist AA is due on 28th feb (it's a damn shit AA btw, damn lame lah idk what the teachers were thinking) and I was like AUGHSIOFHODSFHISODHFODSFS cause I suddenly thought about everything and I was like fffffff.

Okay and I'm really damn bloody tired now and I just wanna crash but I have lit but okay. Stay focused eunice you can do this :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

ANYWAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIMING + CHUNYEN (TMR) + CHEONG (DAY AFTER) I LOVE YOU GUYS MAX BUT THEN YOU GUYS MAKE ME VERY BROKE.

Ok bai.

2011-02-12T05:03:00.001-08:00

Everything is just so fcking screwed up now and I'm so tired and my head is throbbing cause I just woke up from my 2h nap :( I was gonna nap earlier and for a longer time but since I was still awake I decided I better make use of my time, and I did chinese till I really couldn't take it (didn't do much ugh slow max cause SEC3 CHINESE SUCKS BALLZ) and I was falling asleep writing my answers -.- Then I decided to let myself sleep for an hour but obviously I slept for longer than that lah sigh so here I am now.

Read some shit and omg I am so sorry to _ and just people around me if I don't really talk; sometimes I'm just too tired in school and I'm so sian and like shdfioshifos :( Oh and also these few days I kinda talk less because talking/smiling hurts cause of my ulcer at the top of my lip/gum HAHAHA.

It's just hard to remain focused all the time la, and weekends are like ._. cause there's so much work you have to tell yourself to focus.

Omg I'm achey like some old woman. Stupid training >:(

And I wish training was... happier. A few people've cried already and the past two trainings have been the worst. Just wish somehow miki could come back and everyone'd be happier and more motivated.

2011-02-08T06:26:00.000-08:00

By the sweat of your face

You will eat bread,

Till you return to the ground,

Because from it you were taken;

For you are dust,

And to dust you shall return.

- Genesis 3:19

2011-02-07T09:32:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHA history today was. From nicolette's blog:

"I don't believe in communism, neither do I believe in democracy. There is only one thing I believe in ....... Vananism. It revolves around -brandishes marker around and writes on board- L.O.V.E. -emphasizes with pounding of marker on board-"

- Mr Vanan, hist teacher

(Y)

Anyway shit days pass way too fast yeah I need to do work soon so- in 3min, break was good but from now on it's like a race can't stop omfg. Math pt sucks sucks sucks. Sunday was... Alright, thank you God for no tuition ♥ :) Mira's place was good, didn't do much but hearing chunyen sing was the BEST and I watched easy A (finally) woohoo! Swirl afterwards was yumzzz :) Night was super bad though haha, for various reasons and also cause I felt like shyte cause I was sick and slightly feverish. So today's school was bad. Felt like dying HAHA and I was sneezing and my nose was blocked so I kept having to blow my nose yuxxxx k tmi. Didn't go for training and felt super bad ): K now here I am and I feel better and just found leotard pictures hopefully we can use the blue one we picked man fingers crossed please God :)

Haha I had a super dshfioshofhdos dream this afternoon wth. Pathetic pathetic pathetic idk what to do but nvm.

2011-02-04T10:23:00.001-08:00

I want to write beautifully and think beautifully and go beyond the surface and be able to understand everything I'm supposed to and more.

Just like, you know, people. You can tell! And I read things and I'm like how in the world did they manage to think of this, how did it just come to them. It's like woah dude.

Anyway, The Pretty Reckless (taylor momsen's band, omfg she's like some raccoon in all her mvs I swear) is Pretty Freaky (not pretty awesome like nicolette says!!!) Just Tonight is not bad lah good enough for me to add to my itunes library but their mvs are just so bloody freaky man.

Tell me dear,

Are you lonesome tonight?

2011-02-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

Amazingly, tonight turned out to be not bad :) It was nice seeing family friends again, can' t believe we've known each other for so long and we've all grown up omfg. When I saw Shawn today I was like woah (Y) He totally became more buff and more mature! I was like omfg these are the people I used to play with and whatever. And rachel grew damnnnn tall and she's super fricking skinny like some model! Haha tiffany used to look damn tall and whatever but like omfg, now she's the shortest + smallest out of everyone man! So crazy haha aunty sueanne was like woah ryan's 7 already. Still remember when he was this small baby! And we used to play with him and take care of him and stuff HAHA but cause we rarely see each other he's forgotten about us tsk!

Omg I think guys totally become nicer + more handsome when they reach that age, like 20, 20+ HAHA (: The nice dude who played cards with us totally made my night much much much more enjoyableeee (: He was so super fricking nice haha wish I had an older bro like that!

Anyway today was okay la (: Tonight totally redeemed the day haha! Plus I hope that things work out. (:

2011-02-03T02:09:00.000-08:00

Woosh. CNY is so boring ):

I need some change in my life, tsk. Same old tune's getting hard to sing.

Anyway I've been trying to make some decisions but as usual, putting them off, because I really don't know, till I really need to decide :(

I resolve to make my night happier!!

/Hahahahhahahhhhaa you just spoilt my night THANKYOU VERY MUCH.

Omg so damn pathetic.

2011-01-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

Ah sigh. Think I'm learning how to live, with or without.

I'm thinking that's a good thing.

2011-01-27T06:41:00.001-08:00

Omg things have just been piling up and suddenly it's been another week. I haven't posted I know, and I didn't even post about OBS which seems ages away (though it wasn't), cause each week in itself is so tiring and seems to drag on for so long. Anyway every thing's just like wow tiring and I've been trying to adjust and having to psycho myself during lessons to pay attention and not tune off and not randomly like drift off. Sigh haha okay gotta sleep now training was not bad today (:

Burlesqueeeee tomorrowww I'm broke omfg and the long weekend's approaching haha I hope everything's good and _. Will post soon (:

/edit: dammit I hate myself for giving up so effing easily

2011-01-22T23:50:00.000-08:00

SHIT IT'S 350 I'M SUPPOSED TO FINISH YUWENLIANXI BY 430 FAIL TTM okay imma do chinese then BREAK AND BLOG then do zuowen okay JIAYOU YOU CAN DO IT EUNICE stop slacking omg I SUCK being motivated to do work before it's really due lasted for like, 1 week. Then now I'm completely sian and I have no motivation at all but k gonna psycho myself to do work ):

2011-01-15T10:27:00.001-08:00

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room

Can you feel alone even while talking to people tsk sigh obs i haven't posted yet hur lazy. Ah well shit sleeping, v tired and it's damn late shh plan sleeping soon failed. Anyways screw work I'll just finish everything today I'm supposed to read lotf and finish it but I'm v sure I can't concentrate tonight cause I'm too sleepy so, tomorrow.

2011-01-14T05:45:00.000-08:00

Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

2011-01-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

SCHOOL IS KINDA SCARY. k scrap that it's SUPER scary and all the SOW just freaks me out knowing what's ahead sigh sigh sigh okay class is still weird still and awkard but OBS on monday omg damn nervous/excited hope it'll be as fun as everyone said k I'm SURE it'll be but I really hope I get a nice group and we can all bond as a class (: And, like, that ___. HAHA. And it won't be as gross omfg please help me survive the grossness.

2011-01-01T06:01:00.001-08:00

I WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU MAN (:

/edit: ))))): i need a hug hahhahahahahaha.

And I wonder what people think of me gosh sigh.

You're so confusing.

2011-01-01T02:52:00.000-08:00

STALKED SOMEONE'S BLOG (HAHAHAHAHA YIMING YOU KNOW WHO) talking to yiming now haha I regret wasting my holidays away ):

Didn't dare to try something new hahahaha I'm actually v cowardly omg.

"Happy new year everyone! (: Grow some balls and find the time to do something you’ve never really had the courage to do our you’ll find that you’ve let it drop away."

Sigh I totally didn't make full use of my holidays!! It was good to rest for a while to get myself ready for 2011... omfg this year, and school, but I should've revised stuff and mm gotten more of a headstart. Or at least tried more new stuff ):

Uhm, I flew a kite for the first time this dec! >D Okay realisation: I AM A V V V V V V V DAN2 XIAO3 person omfg I DON'T SEEM LIKE IT but I get paiseh really easily and I worry a lot! Like, what if things are weird when _, and what if I'm damn noob and can't catch up, aiya I don't make sense but yeah! Ohdear after talking to Yiming I even sound like her -_-

HAHAHA I just finished my dinnerrrr, fish & chips with salad followed by a cheese sausage yumzzz. Fatz omg therefore going down to walk a bit because SITTING DOWN RIGHT AFTER YOU EAT IS BAD. When I'm back I shall shower and maybe read lord of the flies omfg.

2010-12-31T12:31:00.000-08:00

THERE MUST BE SOMETHING MORE haha shyte bad post to be at the top of my blog xsdfhdsifhdso sighioxz 4.32am!! Talked a lot a lot a lot to cheong hahaha I realised that I really really really really love everyone I mentioned below a lot!! Like seriously I may get annoyed la (at some people) and sometimes it's like dudeeee I'm just lazy to talk cause I'm doing a lot of stuff but I really love all of you a lot a lot a lot!!! ♥

Okay crap I'm mad it's damn late.

“重要的事你不说，不重要的事你就一直说” WHY WHY WHY EUNICE WHY Y U LIKE THAT

)))))):

2010-12-31T00:45:00.000-08:00

Omfg can't believe that 2010 is over, just like that. We never can, can we? :) Every year we're cruising along and there's so much shit, but at the same time so many good moments, and finally it's december and we're like HELL YEAH NO SCHOOL!! Then before we know it, it's the last day of the year and it's gonna be a new year man.

I guess this year it hit me a lot, a lot later- it still hasn't really hit me yet, cause I don't want this year to be over because despite all the shit this year from school and life, it was really a good year in general and I grew a lot, and got to know many people around me a lot better :)

-pause, because I'm gonna shower and I need to think about what to say :) -

Woah I just read my archives and I'm like omfg shit why was I so toot. HAHA PLEASE DON'T GO BACK TO READ THEM NOW I'm dying of embarrassment here feel like deleting everything but I Won't. :) There's so many people I want to thank- basically, every single person in my life, whether or not we've had good or bad times together because without each person my life wouldn't be the same, and I wouldn't be the person I am now :)

I honestly have no idea where to start!!

Okay 212' 10 ♥

I know not all of us are alright with each other, some of us have problems with each other but no matter what we're still a class :) We may not have been the most bonded class but hey- I think we're not too bad man, good enough to make me love all of us as a whole (: It's everything we do as a class, the stupid lessons we sit through with (some) of the teacher hating on us more than other classes, how fricking noisy we are in between (and during) lessons, that has made school life that much more bearable (: I mean obviously ~~we all~~ most of us (thought of like mel etc HAHAHA) dislike school but looking back I wouldn't change a single thing :) And I'm thankful for our class because there're people I can talk to about whatever outside of the dudes, so yeah I love 212 a lot.

To the dudes- we're a huge group man, like one-third or half the class, but hey we're cool that way ♥ People judge us and everything but it doesn't matter cause we know that our friendship is a lot more than what they can see (: I love you guys super fricking much, as a whole and individually, and though there're obviously some of us who're closer to others than... others HAHA ohshyte that came out so odd knvm, I love every one of us anyway. :) Without you guys lower sec life would have been totally different and I wouldn't have been able to survive all the shit man, and I'm glad that I got to know everyone. I'm pretty sure some of us will drift, but that's okay, I just hope we don't become strangers. Either way, thank you guys and I love you guys for making lower sec so memorable ♥

And to those I posted letters to, yeah you're welcome I know you love me too HAHAHA x

Gymmers ♥

Hahahahahaha I know not all of you read my blog but thankyou for being this crazy bunch anyway! We've been through so much together, all the crazy trainings and gym concert and comps and from the bottom of my heart, I thank every one of you for being who you are ♥ Because of you guys I don't regret joining rgym at all, because I got to know all of you :) I'm so glad most of us still have more time ahead together :) Hope 2011 is a good year for rgs rsg ♥ OKAY NEED TO MOVE ON but I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! ♥

Oh and.

THIS IS TO SOMEONE WHO LIKES CAPS A LOT HAHAHAHA HEY I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH THANKS FOR EVERYTHING and listening to me crap and talk shit and complain NEARLY EVERYDAY omg I have no idea how you put up with me :D I love how we're quite alike in some ways and we can talk about like, anything, and WE GAY AROUND SO MUCH WTS HAHAHA and you're really amazing okay HAHA so I love you a lot so glad I got to know you!! ♥

And to this PIG I know, hello you sweet pretty girl HAHA seriously I need to stop boosting your ego CAUSE YOU'RE LIKE THE MOST SHAMELESSLY EGO PERSON I KNOW. Yay we're both pigs and I love you a lot cause I can talk nonsense with you and thanks for trusting me enough to tell me some stuff when you're troubled haha ♥ AND you're super gayyyyyy too, omfg our gay trips with mazie and miki OKAY THIS IS SO OBVIOUS HAHAHA I LOVE YOU A LOT YAY ♥ THANK YOU for being an amazing junior :)

And to all my batchmates (with the addition of YIMINGGG), I love you guys v v much thank you for putting up with all my nonsense, I wouldn't have any one else as my batchmates cause all of you are really awesome ♥

For this toot I know...

Hai you thick skinned ass :)

Hurhur happy new year you're like somewhere at boonlay now LOL. Okay we haven't known each other for v long but thanks for being really nice and listening to me complain and whatever, it helped me through a lot :) And uhm somewhat attempting to help me out with math HAHA quite fail lah I KNOW LA my math still v lousy -_- You entertained me a lot also hahahahaha esp during school days when I'm up chionging work wah damn fail okay you've been a good friend :) Things got a bit weird la halfway and you KEEP GIVING ME THAT -.- FACE NOW WTS HAHA but yeah thanks a lot for everythinggg you know what you did la :) HAPPY NEW YEAR hope 2011 is a good year for you, must believe in what you wish for okay :)

FATTTTTZ!!!

Hey you piggy OMFG hahahaha we're like idk close but not close IDK ALSO HAHAHA anyway I love you lah even though we always just gay and we're like NOT SENTIMENTAL with each other but I really can tell you quite a lot of stuff like family shit and whatever then idk who to tell I'll tell you (: Like haha yeah that time YOU KNOW when la cause you'll understand sort of :) Then when got shit with that person I also told you! Idk can gay around sometimes BUT I THINK KLESS NOW HUH both of us refuse to play minesweepers anymore WE GOT STUF TO DO THIS HOLS ALREADY HAHAHA last hols damn lame omg :P Then yeah but when it comes to face to face we may not be so comfortable cause not so used to it but NVM next year will be even better!!! Cause we're CLASSMATES OH YEAH ♥ K la I don't really talk to you about ___ but it's just cause I'm lazy HAHA then got better stuff to talk to you about HAHAHA but anyway I still end up talking to you when I have problems so THANKS A LOT HAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU!!!! ♥ Omfg so sweet right. HAHA

Okay end. Oh and for the one I didn't mention above (idk if you know who you are hurhur) THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING and I love you too :D

And of course, thank God for everything and everyone ♥

Hur that was so incoherent but mm like nicolette said last time- it doesn't matter what time of the year it is, etc, as long as I still have every one of you guys with me I know that things will work out. Things won't be the same next year, I'm pretty sure, but as long as we don't become strangers, it's okay and I have the memories from this year :) With that I NEED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE and I hope 2011 is an even better year than 2010 :)

Happy new year~

2010-12-24T10:52:00.000-08:00

And not to mention (the tears I shed)
But I should have kicked your (ass instead)
I need intervention
Attention to to stop temptation to scream

'cause baby

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart

Made a decision today, idk if I can stick to it and idk if it's the right decision. Idk how I'm going to pull through with it and it's gonna suck, but I guess it should make things better? Sigh idk. Anyway, slowly. Should be easier when school reopens (shyte), I think.

2010-12-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

HOW DOES ONE STOP CARING?????

2010-12-24T09:21:00.001-08:00

SICK OF PRETENDING EVERYTHING'S OKAY AND WE'RE NORMAL WHEN WE'RE NOT, I ALWAYS GET SHIT CAUSE OF THIS MAN.

Anyway MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS I just had a bad night going to sleep sometime maybe getting the sfhdofh feeling I had to rant on lj LOL anyway I'm just so sick of this shit man I want it to stop hahahaha.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AGAIN. GOT NEW SCHOOL SHOES TODAY I'M V SCARED THEY'RE NOT LEGAL.

2010-12-22T09:14:00.000-08:00

The people around me constantly confuse me at times, lol, and I confuse myself sometimes.

Been crazy pmsy and all but hm okay nothing much except kbox yesterday (tue) with cheong + chunyen, at nex, which was super fun and we were just crazy high and screaming out the lyrics of all the songs and for that period of time everything else was just forced to the back of my mind. Haha we didn't really talk much la omgosh we kept pmsing at each other before we went in hehe but ily guys anyway ♥ lazy to elaborate but mm, first time kboxing and it was a good experience :) Thanks for paying for me too cause I'm a lousy broke shit heh, love you guys ♥

Today was gym outing at marina barrage, would've met my sis but... (thank God I didn't HAHA) okay it was alright (: First time flying a kite yo, not too bad! (Y) Yiming is guddd :)

Mm k I need to get started on school readings soon, my nails are blue now heh. Anyway okay I'm just a little bored with life now and I miss people I haven't seen for a really long time. Sometimes I feel like people aren't really there for me in the ways I need but that's just, me la. Posted before on tumblr, but I think sometimes I have a problem with telling people how I really feel, and I end up downplaying stuff, or sometimes the words just don't come out the right way. Anyway, events aside, life has been alright, I'm still trying to believe that I made the right decision but there's no turning back anyway, and I believe that with a new year and school and all (shyte), everything will go back to normal.

It's been kind of odd so, hm. Maybe when I do new year dedications (shit I can still remember doing them last year, where the hell does time go?) I'll write something for you too, stuff I wanted to say to you but didn't really get to say properly because my brain was just like sfhiodshf and I was so frustrated because your reactions were just ... worthy. Anyway now I wonder if we were ever on the same page? I never really know what you're thinking, I realised. Anyway it doesn't matter, thanks for everything anyway (wondering if you'll see this, haha)

Sidenote to self: Must remember to reply people who've written to me, omg sometimes I'm really such a bitch. It shouldn't even be something I need to remind myself of. Alright, tomorrow, tomorrow.

Okay gotta sleep now, been surviving on like way too little sleep the past two days, and training's at 9 tomorrow bloody hell. Plus I'm broke.

What do you do when it all falls apart

Omg so much random thoughts in my head now, thought of what she said about me which stung a lot at first but matters less now/

2010-12-18T11:24:00.000-08:00

Omg I realised just how long that stupid post was hahaha full of shit and fillers like 'like' and 'hahaha' ~~~

Anyway just remembered this tweet that I tweeted just now, which I heard from the tv outside “重要的事你不说，不重要的事你就一直说” hahaha wtp I totally thought of myself crapping around all the time okbai gonna sleep (soon-ish heh) so I can get up at a decent time tomorrow -.- Not gonna get my 8h grr.

2010-12-18T10:09:00.000-08:00

Hm haha. I don't really know what I'm here for heh but okay :) Not so happy anymore obviously HAHA totally post-high feeling, but I was mega high and proud of myself just now because I can proudly proclaim that my day was productive! :) :) Well aside from waking up at 12, and even having to drag myself out of bed because I was still super sleepy, I managed to have a decent breakfast (i.e. didn't have to rush out of the house w/o eating because I woke up late- yup, been there, done that hahahaha) and changed etc in time so I didn't have to rush for training! :) Mm reached earlier and the guard told us that there was no electricity hahaha wtp, so none of us went up. Blablabla but we went up anyways and yeah it was working -.- Someone said maybe the uncle just wanted to go home HAHA he's forever chasing us out from the hall!!

Haha anyway we didn't do pt and didn't even run today during training omf, just played a game (idk what it's called hehe lilaoshi taught us one :) ) and then ya tui and did cheng tao. Oraight HAHAHA halfway during ya tui (didn't touch the ground today ughhh ying4 max, I touched the previous lesson when I was uhm, "bouncing" HAHA wts sounds wrong.) YIMING THE BLUR appeared and we were all like "..." cause she came so late HAHAHA the retard thought training started at 3! But then normally she leaves at 3 on saturdays, for tuition, so we were like .... wth yiming you come for what HAHAHA damn gay la she!! She said she didn't realise she was late till the security guard uncle told her then she was like ?? HAHA funny max~

Okay mm then since yiming was gone des and I just did paos (failed wts argh so fricking lousy) and then we ran through the rest of the cheng tao! :) Can't shun4 yet haha, but we're definitely less screwed than we were initially! My main problem is that I can't do the movements la haha, that's why I end up slow and whatever... Anyway sigh I can't prac at home cause I don't have the hoop, but hope I'll improve quicklyyy I really need to!

After training we did PT together woohoo I did 50 double-unders + 2 sets of fuji + 1 set beiji, happy :) Miki the crazy pig did superrr a lot HAHA all of us are like scared to get fat. And afterwards we were talking about fats and all that HAHAHA ting was like "omg i bet we're like the only cca who does this... -.-" hurhur but no la I'm sure some other ccas do too, it's natural k! We talked a lot of shit hahaha fun max :) I love the time after training~

Then went to macs to eat omg fat max and the LOVELY, AMAZIEEEING MAZIE (who won't even see this unless I ask her to HAHAHA) treated me to corn cup yummmm :D Cause, like I said before, I am so broke it's not even funny )): Eh anyway I'm gonna treat her when I've more money k so yeah!! Talked a lot of nonsense and she told us about her amazingggg thailand trip and the cute thai guys HAHAHA I had no idea thailand was such a nice place to go holidaying~

Came home and started packing my room, omg it wasn't as crazy as the other day but somehow I spent really long HAHA re-organising some stuff and then clearing up some of the nonsense left behind from the other day, plus packing my Jap stuff hahaha I cleared one shelf of stuff yo! :) And I have this entire plastic bag of paper to recycle (as I keep proudly declaring HAHA) uhm I kind of really need to find the recycling bin HAHAHA I'll feel really bad throwing all that paper away man!

Yup so basically, today was a productive day :) Come to think of it I didn't really pack all that much hahaha I think cause I had to file my stuff properly and arrange them properly etcetc and find stuff, therefore I took so long. Ugh didn't even get to paint my nails hahaha and I still have another stack to pack ): Going to paint my nails tomorrow if I can, cause they take 1h to fully dry omggg wtp can I do for one hour at home without screwing my nails?? If i just sit and stone in my room my mum would come in and murder me HAHA and i'd be bored to death too. So idk~

Anyway cheong and chunyen are coming over tmr, cheong's coming over after lunch and I'm eggggcited max! :) haven't seen her in one billion years hahaha we're gonna just lame around together before chunyen comes :) Okay yup hope tomorrow's fun and stuff at the very least it'll keep me from rotting around at home overthinking stuff.

Omg if I ctrl+f-ed the entire post, or like my entire blog, you'd take a million years to read everything cause I type 'haha' like in every sentence (HAHAHA okay you see it's just natural :) )

On another note, hope hope hope things work out (fingers crossed) cause ___ mm yeah fill in the blanks cause there's so much I'm not sure of right now.

And to everyone out there, esp __ you pig :), whatever's going on in your life because everyone is fighting their own battle -something constantly repeated in tumblr hahaha-, cheer up and stay strong :)

so you'll be mine, forever and almost always

and I'll be fine, just love me when you can

x Forever and Almost Always, Kate Voegele

2010-12-17T08:43:00.000-08:00

Where the hell does time go? ):

Finally did something semi-productive today, spent 2h packing my cupboard, there was this massive pile of loose worksheets and shit that I had to clear I almost fainted when I saw it -.- Turns out like 1/3 of it, maybe, was my sister's old stuff that she dumped to me. Took out everything and now I have a whole plastic bag full of paper to recycle (when I find the recycling bin, that is o.O) and a pile of paper that's mostly empty (to be used), and also a pile of sec1 jap nonsense I need to find a file for, and other nonsense I don't think I ever bothered filing properly -.- So yup idk where some of my files are.

Take it from me kids. File. -.- I still have another pile of nonsense (presumably sec2 stuff) to pack sigh. If I don't get round to doing it tomorrow then when cheong comes over maybe she'll help me (: Sigh seriously, where do the holidays fly to? I'm scared of next year. ): And training and djt... omfg, I don't even know. No confidence man, and I'm still struggling omg ): We started so bloody late and omg it's tough man.. Jiayou djt ): Haha idek if I'll end up competing but mm. Thur's training was so, so, so bad but hopefully things will go uphill from here on.

Training again tomorrowwww actually need to go to ps to get paper + random shyte but I'm kinda broke -.- Haha depends if my dad's in a good mood tomorrow and gives me money when I ask.

+ omg step up 4 being directed by Wade Robson! (Y) Cool shiz. Anyway, looking forward to sunday and mm. Sometimes I wish I could pause time man.

Was gonna sleep at 1230! Earliest ever, I know, cause I was so sian and tired. Sleeping now anyway, at 1. Hopefully I fall asleep quickly. Sleeping schedule this hols has been.. pretty screwed up, and that's putting it mildly hahaha okay goodnight x

2010-12-10T07:19:00.000-08:00

Bloody msn has been screwing up on and off and it's so annoying I'm about to vomit blood and die. Training tomorrow ugh gotta get to bed soon.

Looking at taiwan immersion trip photos makes me kinda jealous cause it's super fun to just get out of the country and go somewhere with friends, albeit friends you may not know very well yet. It's just a completely different experience altogether. Wanna go overseas with the dudesss ): But can't sigh should have a lit trip imho!! Honestly. And a gym overseas trip pleasepleasepleaseprettypleaseeeee ): CARRISSA TING GO PLAN NOW NOW NOW.

Okay anyway yesterday was going to mira's to watch the dudes jamming then dania quek and I just hobo-ed around at the side (okay it was more of quek and I hobo-ing wts HAHA) then yeah watched houseee and froze to death then ate and lumped around being retarded-- omg chunyen and sup -.- SUP IS JUST, SUP. GOT THAT? Okay yes then went for training and I was one of the first few for the first time this hols :) nawbad huh.

Todayy was lame and Imma sleep soon, craving something saltish/savoury to eat but there's nothing to eat omg ): I even considered going early for training tomorrow to eat my carrotcake heehee I'm mad. Nah just super hungry.

Sigh I think I'm okay, then I'm not, then I'm okay then I'm not again and... life is just confusing.

2010-12-08T08:48:00.001-08:00

Going to mira's house before training tomorrow to spend time with the dudes, they're gonna jam and dania quek and I are gonna sing off-tune at the side/paint our nails or something heehee excited and happy I miss you guys so much! I know training afterwards will be like >( cause I'll be super tired but sigh sorry can't resist!!

Today was alright, I suppose :) The past 2 or 3 days have been pretty okay, and somehow I've been feeling somewhat better :) Still having weird dreams + difficulty sleeping though, tsk. But mm okay for now tomorrow's the highlight of my life and I hope I don't die during training. Sleeping earlier for the first time (hopefully I fall asleep soon), goodnight world x

2010-12-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

IN THE END, BLOGGER'S STILL THE MOST RELIABLE. Stupid everything was screwing up today, from twitter to tumblr to even facebook- but oh wait. All of these always screw up anyway -.- And fb has this disgusting new profile layout which looks really ugly and is quite stupid.

Anyway hm. Read an interesting book yesterday called The Supper Club. V good read even though it wasn't exactly "intellectual" HAHA but stop judging such books okay!! It's very interesting :D Go read it by yourself hoho it's by Sophie King but okay most of you may not like it!

Okay hm training today, woke up late, ate cornflakes (can't eat too much before training) then went offff and met denise at bishan cause we took the same train to training :) Hm. Did 50 x 3 double-unders then it was ya tui already, thank God. I think my shuangyaos kinda improved :)

Haha okay blablabla after dinner I was soo tired I felt like going to sleep w/o bathing seriously I nearly fell asleep while bathing. HAHA THEN after I bathed I weighed myself with the weighing machine and I just anyhow dumped it on the furry carpet thingy and I still had my towel (drying my hair) THEN IDK I think the weighing machine got a bit screwed up cause it jumped to 52. At first I was mega happy!! I was like OMG I dropped from _4 to _2 then I was like. Wait. Is 40s or 50s the normal range and I thought okay maybe it's 50s should be right. Then I remembered what yanlin said about wanting to jian until 52kg then I totally freaked out HAHAHA went to weigh again and okay I'm still the same weight tskkkk ): Looks like all the training + skipping lunch (not intentionallyyy!!) didn't work >( Haha but okay lah whatever after the previous training we stayed back for a bit to do funny exercises HAHAHA to get rid of thigh fats etcetc. Vivien saw in world newspaper and she told us (she photocopied and brought today HAHA crazy girl) so we always retard around together after training HAHAHA :D Lufffff you guys!

Okay I'm just rotting away now idk whether to go for broadway class on wed sigh even rose felt noob ): Heh and just now I was rewatching the ce yan video of xjt at ij toa payoh and omg it brought back so many memories. Felt regret + this whole mix of undescribable emotions all at once, will never forget gym comp '10 for a multitude of reasons, good + bad but mm :) And @_ PLEASE DON'T STALK MY VIDEOS OMG I LOOK MEGA WEIRD KTHXBYE.

I'm super worried for comp '10 sighhh everything's still not together we don't even know who's competing and Winnie and I are trying our best to learn everything before miki comes back omg so stressful I still can't picture myself doing djt '11 ): And it's really bloody scary omg I'm scared to screw up. In a way I think first competitions are good cause you go in knowing nothing and with no past experience so it's just like okay let's go for ittt o: Aiya it's just, not easy. Meanwhile I'm just hoping I'll improve and pick up everything as soon as possible, it's really hard to practise all the nan dus sigh ): So much stuff I still haven't learnttt. Haha sigh I suddenly thought of jianglaoshi and how she used to encourage me to work harder, telling me that I needed more neng li to be able to compete in djt. Haven't gone to visit her blog in a while, think I'll go tomorrow.

Gonna watch dance vids now or somethingggg and okay actually if not for tumblr being down (apparently has been like this for the whole day) I would never post such a long post HAHA but okay :) &&something naiseeeeeee below I lovelovelove this dance :) Of course, not as much as lauren and kent's collide dance HAHAHA but this is beautiful too (:

AND PEOPLE NEED TO HURRY COME BACK OKAYYYY STOP BEING OVERSEAS ): I MISS YOU GUYSSSS And omg haven't seen the dudes in so long miss you guys damn a lot and _ yeah Sigh she (ahem) needs to be less anal about some stufffffffff. Okay.

2010-12-05T08:23:00.001-08:00

Sigh life is so siannn lazy to blog and whatever. Spent today in my dad's hospital room -.-

Woke up at 7 and couldn't fall back asleep for 1h tsk. Anyway my dad's being discharged tomorrow but I have training and okay I'm gonna sleep now. 1230, not bad okay.

2010-12-02T08:19:00.001-08:00

Reallyreallyreally hate how things've become this way. =

Anyway training today was bleh we did shuttle run and our group was the last so we had to do 3x30 shuangyaos not as bad but it was so yucks and everythingg. And not going for training on monday was baddd I was super mega ying4 today and when shenlaoshi sat on me to ya my ce kua I honestly nearly died normally it's not as painful boo. So having muscleache now. Then we practised kua tiao with apparatus after ti tui :) Still can't get it but sighhh and shen says I'm super jiang1 (stiff), the upper part of my body. It's not cause of ballet omgosh idk why eitherr I guess it somehow helps me to keep my legs straight(er) and stuff cause I need the power and it's harddd it's different from ballet ):

Anyway life is just sdhfiodhiof now I hate hate hate hate hate how you keep disappearing, just like that.

2010-11-30T10:31:00.000-08:00

HI POSTING AGAIN I READ SOMETHING ABOUT UHM LOVING SOMEONE AND WANTING TO GIVE UP ALL THE SADNESS AND BE HAPPY TOGETHER AT THE END AND OKAY. ANYWAY I'm missing chalet already even though omg !!!! PROPER TOILETS today at vivo I told tab omg aren't you glad we have proper toilets cause the toilets there sucked ballz!!!! And yes my nice bed with aircon lalala but it's kind of quiet at homeeee that's the bad thing ): I like being surrounded by people I can talk to and gay around and just be happy being with friends/gymmers- okay fine they're my friends too yah okay makes me happy :)

Lalala okay forget this I'll just relieve the good parts of chalet and imma heck you people if you don't care enough then neither do I (for now, at least) and okay I love you gymmers thanks for the memories!! ♥

Help I'm a bit crazy. !!!! Need to pack my room tomorrow tab and I aren't supposed to slack around doing shit anymore ):

2010-11-30T09:54:00.001-08:00

Omg f whatever lah if that's the way things are then so be it.

Annoyed annoyed annoyed annoyed at life annoyed at myself it's my fault but ughhh why're things like this now.

Stupid lah not supposed to have to post this okay just back from gym chalet today I felt totally cut off from the world but sigh. Come tomorrow I'll put this aside for a while and think about chalet and my retarded ttm videos omgxz help imma dig a hole and hide foreverrrr and yep gonna post about it tomorrowwww thank you so much sec3s and I love all you gymmersssss hoho ♥

2010-11-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

KENT MAKES ME SMILE SO HARDDDDDDDD!!!!! ♥ HAHAHAHA OMGGG GOING CRAZY ♥ ♥ AWWWW HE'S THE CUTEST EVER!!!!

Mia: But that thing, that thing you did with the (demo blablabla)
Kent: Ugh, dang it!

AND HE SCRATCHED HIS HEAD HAHAHA LOL SO CUTEEEEE OMG ♥♥ Okay going crazy today I rotted around at home and downloaded a few eps from megaupload I hope they all work! Ohmanz training tomorrowwww ): Okay I was waiting for ep10 to finish downloading and it just did :) MAYBE TONIGHT I'LL REALLY SLEEP EARLYYY cause the whole world is dead and gonee.

Haha ohsigh shall stare into space in bed later I guess.

2010-11-23T08:26:00.000-08:00

Dear God PLEASE help me get my body un-screwed. Don't wanna go docs cause it's not even a proper injury >:(

2010-11-23T02:06:00.000-08:00

Sheeeeeez posted a bit before this but the bloody laptop kind of died on me :< (If there's a virus or some shit like that I am Screwed.)

Anyway hm have been spamming tumblr/twitter/COOL DANCE VIDS omg lauren and kent foreverrrr ♥ After their collide contemp dance he kissed her then looked at her with that expression. Omg, they totally fell in love with each other on tv ♥ Stayed up spazzing over them (for a while) with nicolette and we were all like OMG SO CUTEEEEEEEEE!!! Kent's like the cutest dork ever and they're so cute around each other omg ♥ :) I cannot emphasise how much they really really made me smile and I was literally going like "OMG SO CUTE" to myself heh :)

And alex, he's absolutely amazing omg he completely defies most stereotypes about ballet dancers (: After his hiphop dance with Twitch the entire audience just stood up and they were cheering for him and all and it just made me smileeee (: When I watched the video yiming posted, when he had to leave SYTYCD cause of his injury omg I teared :'( But he's gonna be back, better and stronger. Sure of it :')

Anyway last night was the ultimate screwed up sleeping ahem I woke up the latest ever today too please don't judge me! Yes not gonna put the time I slept but suffice to say, someone overseas woke up when I went to bed ahem. I will try very hard to get my body clock un-screwed!! So I can grow taller :)

Life... is kinda boring HAHA I wanna go shopping! And spend time with friends and whatever and ohmySHIT I need to do farewell cards. Omg yesterday before watching hp7 (which, btw, was notbad + quite cool. emma watson is so pretty ♥) we were at BHG and they were playing christmas carols. Was reminded of how on christmas eve people start counting down to christmas and everyone spams texts at midnight. Then it's new years and it's the same story again except this time even the lines get jammed and all :)

Anyway hm. Training yesterday kinda sucked balls! Was reallyreally tired and we did ba gan PT which was like shit -.- And stupidly it's not my stomach that hurts but my arms and thighs and my HAHA thumb cause of something I did during ti tui.

Sigh. Had a really good dream last night (maybe cause of lauren and kent HAHA). It was sweet :) I haven't had such dreams in a while, and I was kind of surprised when I woke up this... afternoon (shhh) and for a moment I was trying to remember exactly what happened (obviously I forgot most of it) but mm.

Okay hm. back to vids :)

/edit WTF BLOGGER SCREWED UP MY POST!!!!! ANNOYED.

2010-11-21T08:32:00.000-08:00

Haha finally got a tumblr, have conformed! :) >> Thus the not posting haha.

Hm. Past few days basically have just been rotting away at home, and hm I read one of the books I bought, it's called Pretty Little Things and it freaked me out so badly hahaha I stayed up to read last night cause it was v exciting. It's a good thriller! This does not mean I'm a geek kthx HAHA.

Hm okay I've been sleeping reallyreally late for the past few days sigh. Dk why time just slips by.

Hm I need to do farewell letters soon :/ Gym chalet in a week, excited :)

Been waking up so freaking late like in the afternoon heh :/ And this morning I woke up, my entire family was out cause my mum and my sis went orchard for shopping and my bro went (somewhere) and yes I was sleeping so heh. Boo.

Haha came across this vid this person made for SYTYCD, wanted to post it here but embedding disabled!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHKkcBqhjAY&feature=related go check it out :)

Okay I shall sleep soon, I think- earliest I've slept since the holidays hahaha.

2010-11-18T11:15:00.000-08:00

look at the stars, look how they shine for you,

and everything you do ♥

for you I'd bleed myself dry.

2010-11-18T08:29:00.000-08:00

damnnnnnn frigging annoyed wtf.

2010-11-17T10:13:00.001-08:00

We’re all lonely for something we don’t know we’re lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody you’ve never even met?

- David Foster Wallace

2010-11-17T08:23:00.000-08:00

exactly.

2010-11-15T07:08:00.000-08:00

omg lazy to post but today was a LOT A LOT A LOT OF WALKING AROUND UNTIL WE FOUND ARAB STREET HAHAHA

Winnie: I SEE... I SEE AN A-R!!!!
ALL: huh what???

Winnie: AS IN--

ALL: OH. OMG.

aiya. that kinda reaction lah huh HAHAHA then winnie started runnign towards thereeeee omg we like spent 2h walking around tryign to find the place!! but yah :) Then went to miki's house to do stuffz hohoho her house is v nice and cosyyy :)

Okay lazy to post HAHAHA nov 16 LOL. SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY HUH DUDE WONDER WHEN YOU'LL SEE THIS LOL.

Aiya anyway I'm supposed to sleep earlier today haven't been sleeping earlier than 3 omg got problems sleeping at night boo. ): Okay baii got training tomorrowww fml

2010-11-14T10:16:00.000-08:00

aiyo someone is super lame tskkk.

secret outing tomorrow haha hope tomorrow's a better day.

2010-11-14T09:07:00.000-08:00

today was so stupid lolll.

2010-11-13T11:49:00.000-08:00

Ignoring the fact that it is crazy late now (okay I shan't say or I know some people will be like WHY YOU SLEEP SO LATE etc HAHAHA SORRY LA :) ), today was a good day, in a way. Very GMH-ish :)

2010-11-10T10:08:00.000-08:00

omg wo ai wo de peng you ♥ hahaha 231 yo our sekrit gang ;) LOL i know what you're thinking, we're not like that :)

Anyway today was ra briefing hahahaha okay uhm, OPEN MIND OPEN MIND OPEN MIND (neeecolette) :) Hobo-ed at ps with nicolette foo before that then yeahhh. Then went ion and just walked around and saw xinhui and dragged her to walk with us :) Then homeee and yeah.

Okayyy today actually wasn't the best of days but sigh. PHONE NO MORE $$$$ LOL LAME.

On a sidenote, omg babyhamtaro/pigscanfly1234/pigscan_dance HAHAHA (Y)

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag.

2010-11-09T09:21:00.000-08:00

today today today. hahaha obviously I'm lazy aiya I slept from 4-9 and woke up still sleepy and boo.

Feeling ): tonight omg and I didn't write a note to adilah ):

Anyway I know very few people get us- even within ourselves we have different senses of humour HAHAHA cheong and I omg screwed up max :) But together we're just... us. People look at us like.... o.O when we burst out laughing or just go crazy together and well other groups- they just don't get our sense of humour and our jokes and why we treat each other the way we do (always pms at each other hahaha) but we.. we get each other. Not gonna emo tonight and whatever omg life will be so different without each and every one of us together who's gonna pms with me every morning when I come to school? ):

We're not funny (to many people hahahaa) and we're spaz ttm but... we're us, and I love you guys ♥

Shall write another time when I feel like it :)

2010-11-08T22:57:00.001-08:00

Just got home about an hour ago from school + lunch with (most of) the peeps. Omg today was ))))): gonna miss 212 as a whole and all the awesum peepz ): ily guys a lot a lot a lotttt.

I Will Remember You

8 years later

Time goes by fast
Got my memories
And they will last
I try to keep it simple
Cause i hate goodbyes
And i try to keep it simple
By telling myself that

I,
I Will remember you
and all of the things
that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
but words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember you
I will rememberyou

We our a picture
In my mind
When I wanna find you
I just close my eyes
You'll never be that far from me
So don't say goodbye 'cause
You'll never be that far from me
I'm telling myself

that I, I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
but words get in the way
So were not together
I will rememberyou

You were there when I needed a friend
Thank you thank you
I never told you how much that meant
Gotta thank you thank you

I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
but words get in the way
So

I,I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
but words get in the way so,
We're not together
I will remember..
We're not together
I will remember you

I will rememberyou

For 212'10 ♥

Omg just now in class they played this song then cheong and quek started crying then all of us too boohooz today was like spam crazy crying. Anyway gonna nap now super tired haven't been sleeping well the past two nights + been going to bed late = super mega little sleep hahaha boo look like hfidsfhodsf in a lot of the photos okay bai gonna wake up at whoknowswhattime then blog again later if i'm not too lazy :)

2010-11-07T08:29:00.000-08:00

Haha it's 12.30 and I'm helping charmaine (sec1) read her CAP piece. Brings back memories of rushing out CAP portfolio and whatever, all the build-up that led to the real thing, haha (:

Today was... uneventful, but kind of realised some stuff. And I wrote the withdrawal letter and whatever and my mum signed it. Not without a lot of sighing away though ahaha and she was going on about how my entire family always drops stuff halfway and doesn't continue to the end, haha. It's true lah, but I wish she didn't constantly remind me cause I regret some stuff enough- just not this decision to drop Jap. For maximum impact she finally said "you'll regret this next time!!" (in chinese lah HAHA). Yah okayy.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to meet Mrs Wee for something... bad? Haha. Yeah. Sigh God help me work this out. Gym been kind of unpleasant recently! Haha. But okay, just gotta find back my motivation. (: Shit happens, but ohwell just gotta figure a way out and life goes on, yeah (:

I've been feeling so. Weird, recently, haha. Like I'm still kind of out of it, and I've been drifting along... Surprisingly I haven't had much strong reactions to like, anything. (much). It's both a good and bad thing, really. Oh but. During trainings there is definitely no drifting along hahaha it's like dhfoidshfids horrible pain + tiredness + whatever >( Hahaha ohwell.

Sleepytimeee was supposed to sleep an hour ago tsk.

Give me more lovin' than I've ever had

Make it all better when I'm feeling sad
Tell me I'm special even when I know I'm not

---

Three words for you: I love you

2010-11-05T22:49:00.000-07:00

This life is a beautiful war.

2010-11-05T10:01:00.001-07:00

i'm sorry ):

2010-11-05T06:08:00.001-07:00

what the f am i supposed to do -.-

2010-11-04T11:14:00.000-07:00

DESPITE MY BODY ACHING LIKE SHIT (cause of training yesterday, or the day before since now's 2am HAHA) today was <3!!!!>

1) STALKING PEOPLE ON FB WITH JUEY HAHAHAHA OMG cute primary school boy LOLOL.

2) lit ra :)))))

Thank you God for everything! ♥

Now pleasepleaseplease help my body to heal quicker and stop being so screwed up!

2010-10-31T23:36:00.001-07:00

THIS IS LATE, BUT. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO CAME DOWN TO SUPPORT ME and encouraged me and put up with all my complaining and falling asleep everywhere HAHA (: WO AI NI MEN ♥

Okay anw I slept at 430 last night HAHA shh. And thus woke up at 130 today. HAHA. Idk why I slept so late actually was watching pll and other stuff and tumblring and thinking about some stuff. And omg I think I'M REALLY LAME (as i've been telling quek) I GOT DAMN FREAKED OUT BY PLL LAST NIGHT HAHAHA. Seriously everytime they played freaky music and some other freaky A thing was gonna happen I could literally feel my heart beating faster okay!! And I was like telling myself OMG STOP IT HAHA.

Hahaha reminds me of one time during concert prac, one of the later ones, when angela told me and (someone elseee) that when girls feel sad they literally ache. I forgot what we were talking about, but yeah that's true, I think. Wonder if it only happens for girls?

Okay off to watch plllll and since it is bright daylight I should get less freaked out. I shall... make tumblr soon. (:

2010-10-31T09:58:00.001-07:00

I could go on and on and on about gym concert hahahaha it was one of the best experiences ever and I love rgs rsg so fricking much ♥

Okay anyway Pretty Little Liars is damn freaky and I am having the hardest time ever finding episode 2 hahaha wts.

Sometimes I feel like the stupidest shit ever but, it's okay. We're all just a little too stupid, too silly for our own good (:

2010-10-30T23:41:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, and gym concert ♥ Love you guys so much everything we went through together was an invaluable memory and I think we've grown so much more as a CCA through all the endless pracs and all the difficulties we overcame. Afternoon show may have been shit, but we didn't let it get us down and the night show was a blast :) WO AI NI MEN, AND GREAT JOB ♥

+ gym shirt hohoho ♥

2010-10-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

Tired. One word: gym. Another: ra???

I'm In Here
Sia

I'm in here, can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?

I'm in here, a prisoner of history,
Can anybody help?

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
You to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
All of the sadness I can not,
Living inside of me.

I'm in here, I'm trying to tell you something,
Can anybody help?

I'm in here, I'm calling out but you can't hear,
Can anybody help?

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
You to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
All of the sadness I can not,
Living inside of me.

I'm crying out, I'm breaking down,
I am fearing it all,
Stuck inside these walls,
Tell me there is hope for me
Is anybody out there listening?

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
You to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
All of the sadness I can not,
Living inside of me.

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
You to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
All of the sadness I can not,
Living inside of me.

I'm in here, can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?

2010-10-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit screw hiofhodsfihodsfdshfosdhfidsofs NEED TO STOP ARGH.

Fml today was such a shit day lah screw.
I feel like some disgusting failure this term. Ugh screw life.

))))))): omg i am so _______,

2010-10-21T10:06:00.001-07:00

So so hard to stay strong and keep going and resist the urge to just collapse and refuse to ever get up but. Sighh jiayou we can get through this and in the end all this will just make everything we'll achieve even more heartwarming ♥

I want you to know

With everything, I won't let this go

2010-10-20T08:56:00.001-07:00

Unbelievably tiredddd and screwed uppp this term sucked haha.

Omg so so so so so tired aiya screw lah.

Full-tech rehearsal tomorrowwww, gogogogogo!

2010-10-17T04:47:00.000-07:00

I HATE JULIET (SHARP???). THE WORLD NEEDS TO STOP HATING ON SERENA HAHAHA. Omg I think I totally get too over involved while watching shows/reading HAHA.

My granduncle's hereeee for dinner omg it's like 7:48 already. THERE'S SCHOOL TOMORROW. FEELS SO WEIRD the weekend was so long and it felt like a holiday already because for once there wasn't anything directly school related. HAHA just now I told cheong, my granduncle is DYING HAHAHAHAHA I wanted to tell her my granduncle is coming but i ended up auto-typing dying. Re-read what I wrote and DIED LAUGHING HAHAHA I'M SO RETARDED. Told quek and she burst out laughing! heehee. :D

Omg my neck hurtsss I think coz I slept too long last night I woke up at 330 omg HAHA my mum was like "ni shi bu shi si zai na bian le!" I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SO LATE, gosh. Slept at 3+ last night watching GG stuffxz hehe.

Been thinking about switching to lj but I think I've too many memories here. (:

No matter what happens- or already did, I know, I tried.

2010-10-17T02:44:00.001-07:00

-.- h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8

argh pong.

ANW GONNA WATCH S4EP3 OF GG COZ I DOWNLOADED LAST NIGHT. The stupid video was being weird on zshare, like the audio didn't match the images. Okay whatever gonna watch i love gg i love gg i love gg ttm ♥

Boohoo i need to push harder need to train harder need to become pro-er ): SUX TO BE NOOB KTHX.

2010-10-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

I cried when I watched this scene.

"But it wouldn't be my world without you in it" ♥

2010-10-16T09:59:00.001-07:00

16 Oct- Tab's birthday happy birthday dear ily! ♥

Okayy. Exams over, and I didn't get the rush of excitement because I had concert prac and I really really wanted to spend time with the guys. So afterwards dinis and I were all ))))): and then we called ting and she allowed us to miss, just for that day. (:

Okay hm lazy to post. Lazy to do EVERYTHING nowadays omg, not even read tumblr because I'm so tired and stressed out coz of gymmm. Sigh full day gymming for the past few days, it's tiring but mm I really hope everything will fall into place soon. Okay really really really tired and hm okay sigh my entire life right now is just, one word: gym.

It's even more stressful than during exams actually hahaha. First training in a long time was bad. We were already tired and we already had muscle ache from the previous concert pracs and when doing everything I just felt so lethargic and heavy. And I didn't put in my full effort into ti tui, i think. ): Sigh okay so much to say but I'm really too tired. Kind of twisted my ankle a bit today it hurts a little to walk now and when i sit cross-legged it's painful. But didn't sprain it thank God. Hope it gets better soon ):

Okayyy jiayou eunice (jiayou quek) gogogo.

Omg sleeping with the air-con switched on till morning has so many drawbacks I've been sniffling away for the past two days and today it's really bad I kept sneezing just now and my nose was like dripping ugh. Not my fault my room has no fan yet ):

Sigh okay BE HAPPY. :)

2010-10-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go, let it go.

IRIDESCENT BY LINKIN PARK

-- Like I finally did today.

2010-10-11T00:24:00.000-07:00

"Just in case you forgot- I love you"

♥

2010-10-10T04:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder how it's possible, that you are who you are.

Do you know what I mean?

Need to focus. 3 more days I have this thought running around in my head that since it's only 3 more days I might as well just give it up now and this'll all pass soon enough. Get out of my head, you ): Lord grant me strength.

2010-10-09T05:39:00.000-07:00

I am an Idiot!! Took the wrong MRT twice today. Was going city hall then took 157 to rj, cut through my training place to go braddell mrt. Then coz after training I'll take mrt back to jurong east so AUTOMATICALLY i just went down the same direction. And I was stoning away like some retard and listening to music so I Didn't Realise I was taking to the wrong direction till like 4 stops after or something fml!!!! ): Waste time ttm!

Then went back to jurong east and afterwards I was supposed to take MRT back to bukit batok. THEN I TOOK TO JOO KOON without realising OMG super failure. Until the MRT stopped at chinese gardens then i was like EH WAIT what is this omg aren't I supposed to be at bukit batok?! LOL SHIT FAILURE LAH.

Okay anwww super tired today my gosh argh. I wanna watch GG it was so fricking bloody sad watching GG last night I DIED OF SADNESS. The other day in class chunyen was saying that her tuition teacher said that GG's stupid coz they just keep introducing new characters for the characters to uhm, f with one another, which is kinda true lah but GG Is Genius (quote nicolette). It has like a good mix of true love kinda couples (think blairxchuck and their screwed up relationship but also of how deep and true and heartbreaking their love is) and yeah even the Horny People Have Depths (HAHAHA quote nicolette again)- think dan serena and nate and whoever lah. It's a perfect mix of sweet sad and funny omg :)

Boo now I wanna watch it so damn badly okay no must refrain!! ): No time for anything no time to STUDY I'm so dead for geog + maths I could go kill myself omg Need More Time Need More Sleep I'm like some freaking ZOMBIE now my dark eye rings are like one patch below my eye )): Look like some crazy panda )):

Anw today when I was leaving the jurong the sky was so freaking pretty omg (: Could see the sun it was orangey-red and the clouds were tinted this beautiful pink and it was just a brilliant mix of purple pink red and blue. For a moment I was awestruck by how beautiful it was and I wanted to take a picture but I was scared I'd look like some toot, HAHA. Then when I walked to the MRT I kept glancing up at the sky and it was just so freaking beautiful I wish I had a proper camera with me I wouldn't have cared about looking like an idiot (: When I finally got onto the MRT (ahem if you recall the MRT accident mentioned above) the sky was like orangey red/pink and later it was kind of purpley omg okay I have this entire paragraph talking about the sky.

It was just super beautifulll and if you didn't notice it or aren't one to notice such stuff you Totally Should (:

Okay baibai. STRESSED and SLEEPY Lord Grant Me Strength

(:

Blair: I really need my friend right now. I’ve been acting like I’m okay, but I’m not. They say it’s a broken heart, but… I hurt in my whole body. I mean, what if I stay like this forever? What if I never get over Chuck?
Serena: You will. You’ll see.

BLAIRXCHUCK. YOU SEE. This is why GG is awesome.

To end off:

I like this (:

2010-10-07T03:52:00.000-07:00

Realised something today and felt like I was slapped... half awake. More like one third.

Fml. Should've happened during chinese so I would've been able to focus better. Was tired and wasn't exactly falling asleep but sort of kept drifting off at the first half of the paper. In my head I had to keep screaming at myself to wake up and the stupid construction was so bloody noisy I couldn't concentrate and I ended up blocking my ears so I could read properly. It was lame lah I still screwed up ttm. History wasn't good idk if it was bad because none of us are absolutely sure what's gonna give us a good score and what isn't. Shiz. Philo was really bad. Lit tomorrow someone save me I am so effed.

4 more minutes left to my break. Sigh stayed in school till around 4 today rubbished with cheong for a while after photocopying math papers (after chinese) and totally regretted it afterwards ): Sigh someone just kill me now thanks.

3 minutes.

Wtf is wrong with me.

2 minutes.

Whatever man. Why can't I just freaking let it go.

1 minute.

--- screw r&j screw this screw this screw this I need next week to come now.

7pm.

. Sigh. Lord grant me strength.

2010-10-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

300th post.

School today was alright. A few free periods and did math. After school was going to shaw with xinhui jingyi and nicolette to talk lit haha, but the stupid place was closed for renovation. Went ion but there wasn't space, ate then left to go to the top floor to just go through stuff for a while, I think.

Since this is the 300th post I'll not talk about school/work. Instead:

"To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, it’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, it doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving up or giving in. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it isn’t defeat. To let go of something is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting, it’s learning, it’s experiencing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that once made you cry, laugh, love and grow. It’s about all that you had and all you still have. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. It’s growing up, realising that a heart can sometimes change and it can also be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, clear a path and set yourself free."

And something nice:

I don't know why, but this song, the melody, even the words, even though I don't exactly relate to them, it just captures a certain mood perfectly.

2010-10-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Today is your big moment. Moments, really. The life you’ve been waiting for is happening all around you. The scene unfolding right outside your window is worth more than the most beautiful painting, and the crackers and peanut butter that you’re having for lunch on the coffee table are as profound, in their own way, as the Last Supper. This is it. T his is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. But pull off the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted

-- "Cold Tangerines” by Shauna Niequist

October is the fallen leaf, but it is also a wider horizon more clearly seen. It is the distant hills once more in sight, and the enduring constellations above them once again.

— Alexander Barclay
(From: julie911.tumblr.com)

Beautiful stuff. (: This is what I love about language.

Just realised that this is my 299th post and I'm supposed to be studying history now, but. Every single passing day has just been a blur i guess it's good because oh-end-of-eyas-please-come-quickly But I have so little time, Too Little Time and I shouldn't even really be blogging but I need a break so damn badly. Okay haven't been mad studying nonstop, but. Gonna fall asleep any moment so damn tired, woke up early today to go Bishan library to mug with dania cheong & nicolette love you guys max ♥ Making WAY too much noise/ drawing on each other/ writing stupid post-it notes/ PIGGING OUT ON PIZZA/ laughing like shit/ ____ ___ hahaha ftw ♥ :) Though the drawing on each other turned out a bit disastrous AHEMCHEONG. But okay :) And neoprints! Even though it was super duper fail hahaha but mm :)

Okay really need to go now sigh life is such a blur nowadays and it's like sian overload, plus stress overload with everything else in our lives but hey, stay strong, keep holding on ♥ Just a little moreeeee time please pass quickly ):

I'm here without you, baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby,
And I dream about you all the time

-- I can do this, with or without you.

2010-09-28T07:27:00.000-07:00

I am so fricking amazed that I didn't fall asleep today considering that I slept at 4 last night doing rs + cheong helped me finish biblio and ended up sleeping 30min later than she was supposed to it was like 3 so thanks fatty pig ♥

Need to mug lit + memorise chinese quotes + mug hist + do alot a lot a lot a lot of stupid shit + do maths and omg I swear I am so tired now I could just collapse and die my eyes are going to close. Nothing seems able to get into my brain today and I just feel so, so distracted by life.

My gosh I am so fricking tired even though I already had a 3hour nap. Screw life and screw feeling this tired all the time FRICK.

"Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you"

I'm sorry that this happened, and I'm sorry that you even thought that way about me. I just. shdfisdhfood sigh.

2010-09-27T09:07:00.000-07:00

FUCK hate today and hate life ttbm the whole world is screwing up wtf my head hurts like some stupid shit lah